onthebrightside

Sitting here in front of my computer screen feels good, yet it is like getting my feet wet all over again. 

Some of you may be wondering where I have been. 

Some of you know I battle autoimmune issues. The best way to describe where I have been without going into long and drawn out details is simply to say I had a relapse.

There were definitely things that led up to it.

Insomnia issues, a difficult diagnosis for someone very dear to me, that at first sent me into a tailspin. The thought of not having this person in my life was beyond difficult. There were other personal issues I won’t go into here. And the bottom line? I was under too much stress!

On the bright side I am finally on the other side of the relapse and feeling great! I am back among the living so to speak and I am beyond grateful. I  am not only grateful for returned health, but also for the good things that have come out of it. I am sleeping well again and although the one so dear to me continues to battle the unknown, I have come to the place of rest knowing that no matter what happens that it will be ok. I rest in the truth we will always have the promise of heaven which can never be taken away.

Throughout this time I found myself thinking what I would do differently when I was well. I wondered if I had truly been walking into what I know I have been called to do? Was I on the right path? Would I need to change course? What in my life is meant to stay? What needs to go?

Over the years I have learned and I am still learning the importance of asking myself the hard questions. (You know the ones. The ones we try to avoid at all costs.) I try to do this often to hold myself accountable in how I am living my life. I may not always like the answers, yet those answers more often than not will hold the key to my next right thing I am meant to do.

Not long before I got sick, the Lord began to speak to me about how much time I was spending on screens. I had gotten way out of balance, especially on Facebook. What started out for me as a platform for ministry He gave me, I had turned into an idol. Because I am a “social introvert” it became a place where I could have wonderful conversations with my  friends without overloading myself with to much activity.

And yet. What about my time with the most important relationship of all ? I was spending time reading my Bible, in prayer and journaling etc…and yet I came to realize that my time with Him was  becoming a list of to dos  to check off.

At least I was showing up. Right? WRONG!!!  He called me many years to go to give Him first place in my life and I have never regretted not even for a moment saying yes to HIM!!! He changed my life! He has made me who I am and He has healed me so deeply of untold things I now often forget they ever happened at all. It is though they never were. 

Yet here I was. I had to come face to face with my own humanness and my own sin. I had to admit to myself and to Him that Facebook had become centerstage in my life.

How grateful I am for the truth that I won’t always get it right and He loves me anyway. I love how quickly He forgives when we are genuinely sorry for the wrong we have done. 

It isn’t that Facebook is necessarily wrong. Neither is any other type of screen. What makes them wrong is the amount of time we place in front of them. Life is busy yes. And we need down time yes. Yet how easy it is to get sucked in and lose precious time, when we could be actively participating in life. Playing a board game or cards or going out to dinner. Taking a walk, going to visit friends. Spending time with kids and grandkids.

There are so many things we don’t do anymore. Personally I am now reading a book. I don’t remember the last time I read a book except to my grandkids and get this. I LOVE TO READ! I always have!

Every moment of every day we are given choices. God has given us free will. We can all do as we wish, but this I know. 

When I come to the end of my life I want to be remembered for living my life well. I want to be remembered for loving deeply. I want to be remembered not only for words He has given me to encourage others on the other side of a screen, but for how I loved them face to face, for feeding the hungry, for being available when there is a need, for being HIS LOVE WITH SKIN ON IT!  And the list goes on.

Seriously with as hard as it has been, I am able to see His hand in it all. This time of being sick was exactly what HE used in my life to bring me to this new place I am and WOW! It is incredible here!

 

 

I

 

I think just about everyone has a junk drawer. That drawer where you place the miscellaneous items you will “eventually need” for one thing or another.  This drawer always starts out as a place to put those needed items, yet over time? Yes. It becomes harder and harder to close the drawer. This is where the sorting begins.

I have a basement.

I am not in anyway a hoarder. In fact. As I write today I am sitting in my most favorite chair surrounded with some of my most favorite things. Simple. Yet home. This is where I love to be. I welcome friendships. I love connecting with those around me, but home? As Laura Ingalls said in the very first episode of Little House On The Prairie, ” Home is the nicest word there is.” Because I am an introvert by nature, this is where I come to recharge. This is where I can think,  This is where I can do. This is where I can just be. This is where I can dream.

Now back to my basement. It is the area in my house that was neglected for 17 years. Since the kids left home to start lives of their own, we have used it for storage mostly. The only thing we regularly go down there for is to use the laundry room. There have been things in my basement that we no longer have use for and yet after 17 years of working full time those things were never sorted and gotten rid of.  Add to that when my mom died in 2014,  I brought home many treasures, yet there were some of her things I wasn’t sure I was meant to keep. So there I was with more to sort, yet no time.

This summer it has become my goal to have my basement filled only with the things that have meaning to us. It has been a time of remembering as I pick up different pieces of our lives, letting go of what we have outgrown and deciding what will be with us a little longer.

I  remember a  day when this, my biggest chore in a very long time  would have been a painful thing for me to do. I wasn’t ready to let go. There were after all, precious memories attached to so much of it.  Was I afraid I would forget the memories?  Was I concerned about the day when I would want to hold those items in my hands again,  then have to face the truth they were no longer there?  And was there the thought that maybe one day my kids would want some of those things to take along on their journey in their adulthood?  Would I regret a day that might come when one or both of my children came to me to ask me for something that held special meaning from their childhood? If I let  those things go would they understand?

Back then,  I had not yet come to the place in my life when I realized our lives had not been centered around things! They were centered around so much more! For me it centered around doing my best to be a good wife and mom.  It centered around my deep deep love for my family and creating memories together that none of those “things” could ever take away just because they were gone. It was about being there. It was about being present in their lives. Going to our kids events, cooking dinner “to keep them alive”, reading to them even into their middle school years, learning how to play. They  taught ME how to play. Making their birthday cakes every year instead of buying a store bought cake. I sucked at decorating them, but they were always decorated with my love.

So here I am reminiscing as I write. Our kids are now grown with families of their own. Their dad and I are so richly blessed with how amazing they and their families  are.  Even with all the mistakes we made and believe me there were plenty, by God’s amazing grace we did  something right. They are kind, caring, compassionate people. They are leaders, yet they know when and how to follow. They are trustworthy and they are living their lives well. Not perfect of course, but we would never expect them to be.

So tomorrow and each day to come I will work to finish this very big chore. There will continue to be those things I will keep and there will be those things I will hold close to my heart one last time and let them go. And I will smile.

Treasured relationships. Cherished memories.  The gift of family.

These are what matter!!!

"I long to make a difference in this world!"
"If I had ________. Then I could/would do________."
"When I am no longer doing ______, then I will do_______."
"If only_______. Then_______.
We all have them. The dreams we are still dreaming.
Some of those dreams have been there for so long we have 
even forgotten they are there. Every now and then, we can 
be in conversation with another person or we see something that causes us to remember, even if only for a moment. And 
then. We forget again.
That is the way it was with my writing.
When I began writing so many years ago, I wrote simply to 
try to make sense of what was happening in my life. It was for  no one else except me. Scared of my own shadow and 
everyone around me, it made sense only to me. Had I tried 
to share it with anyone back then, one sentence would be 
all it would take and the reader would have given it no 
more time.
Then I got brave. 
What could it hurt? I decided I would 
share one poem and watch the response of those I 
shared it with. What relief when I was told over and over
again it was good. Some even asked for a copy.
Then life happened. My writing went back to being for me. 
Becoming a writer people would want to follow became my
dream. "Someday..." I would tell myself. "Someday..."

In the past year and a half, that someday has been on the 
horizon. 
 I walked away from my job of 10 years that was no longer 
meant for me. The Lord had made it very clear it was 
almost time to go when I realized He was giving me this 
very opportunity to bring out my dream and place it center 
stage. My writing was no longer to be just for me. It was 
meant to be shared with those who would see it.
When I first left my job, I truly believed I would begin 
writing immediately. The Lord had another plan. There were other things the Lord was calling me to do. There were 
places He was calling me to go. 
 (I will leave that for another day.)
Sometimes when we see change on the horizon of our lives, 
it is easier to run ahead than it is to stay engaged in the
moment. We want the new. We want the exciting. 
We want the challenge of what is ahead.
The reality is though that if we rush into the new, we 
will miss out on the blessings of our current situation. 
If we are so busy looking too far ahead, how much will we 
miss that is right in front of us? 
Stay engaged where you are loved ones and ask Him to 
reveal to you why He has you where you are. Ask Him to 
make your path so clear that you won't miss a thing.
There are people who need you! There are those who need 
that dream inside of you!
Keep shining for Him right where you are until you hear Him
say. 
   "Now is the time to move!!! Now is the time for your 
dream to take center stage."
Allow Him to lead. The Lord will speak to you. He will 
light your path. He will show you the way.


Isaiah 30:21- Whether you turn to the right or the left, 
your ears will hear a voice behind you saying,
"This is the way; Walk here."

 

 

 

She was true to herself.

She knew the depth of who she was called to be. When others couldn’t see what she saw,  it did not stop her.

Gently she reminded  herself of the words He had spoken into her heart so many years before.

He had always been with her. He knew the plans He had for her and now she knew those plans as well.

Destiny was upon her. It was challenging her to come.

“The time is now! Get up! Get moving for your time is at hand. Shake off your fear. Clothe yourself in belief. Choose this day to enter what He has for you to do.”

Suddenly she could no longer hear the words. Suddenly she couldn’t see the plan.

She was paralyzed, unable to move. Her hands were tied. She was unable to speak. She could not hear His voice.

The words He had spoken to her were now barely a whisper. In the darkness she chose to rest in the truth that He was still with her.

He pulled her close.

Trust Me my child. I’ve got this!”

And He began to sing over her sweet songs of deliverance. He spoke to her of His delight in her and she was glad. With His love He held her close and He calmed her fears.

He untied her hands. He untied her feet.

Once again she could move. Slowly at first, but with each attempt her movements became lighter than she had ever experienced before.

She could speak. She could hear.

Then came the tears.

Of relief,

Of healing,

Of her newfound freedom.

He lifted her up, holding her close as they began to dance.

She no longer had to just trust He was with her. She could see Him standing next to her just like she  had before.

She had come forth as gold.

Shelley Telfer

So here's the deal. We all have fears. 
We all have those voices inside our head that try to stop 
us from being who we are meant to be. Recently I became
acutely aware of how I had allowed those fears to keep me 
from moving forward in my life.   
I long to be a woman of excellence, yet the struggle is 
real.
I have struggled my whole life with perfectionism.
In fact, perfectionism is where a lot of my fear hides
More often than I care to admit I find myself living in
one of two camps. Those perfectionism camps are called 
Doing Everything and Doing Nothing.   
Honestly. Both are paralyzing, each in their own way. 
Doing everything can cause me to think I can do it all on 
my own. When I allow myself to camp here I will start to 
entertain the thought I have no need of God. The "You've
got this!" statement takes center stage and before I know
it I have drifted away from the very one who came to set 
me free.
When I camp in the Do nothing, then I find myself 
choosing to live in isolation with nothing to share. 
I hide behind my beloved tv shows I watch over and over 
and over again. Those make believe shows are not bad in and of themselves. My "Little House on the prairie" that
will take me back to a simpler time. My "Love Comes Softly"
series that reminds me of the importance of faith and
commitment in our relationships. "The Sound Of Music."
Yes. Let that speak for itself. The music alone can lift 
my spirits when I am feeling low. 
And social media? computer games? I will save that 
for another day.
The danger here is that these are not real life. 
These are the very things that can keep me from thinking 
for myself. These things will keep me from looking outside myself to a world of deep need. These things will keep me 
from hearing the cries right in front of me of those who
need my love and support. The camp of Do nothing will
ultimately blind me to the truth of how desperately I need Jesus.
Earlier this year I came across a statement in a book I 
was reading that has had a tremendous impact on me.
"Do the next right thing"
In this statement, the writer was calling the reader to 
action. We think about doing the right thing. We may even
talk about it, but until we act, they are just words. 
Me? I don't want to be remembered for thinking about the 
next right thing. I don't want to be remembered for what I could have done or should have done. I want to be 
remembered for being a person of action when the next
right thing was standing there in front of me. I don't needattention drawn to me. I don't need fanfares or accolades. 
I only want to lay my head on my pillow each night knowing I was the best person I could be on any given day.
Was I kind? Was I helpful? Did I allow the Lord to guide myevery footstep? 

My dear friend what are your fears hiding behind? What is 
keeping you from moving forward in your life? It can be 
something small. It can be something big. Whatever it is, 
Name it! Call it out! Don't let it have control over you! 
What is YOUR next right thing? Take a deep breath. Face 
your fears. Step into action. It mat be uncomfortable at 
first, but you will not regret it! 
Have a great day!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE LOVES YOU MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Looking Forward. What does it look like? How much effort does it take? What is my part? What am I to do? How do I let go of what isn’t  mine to carry?

So many questions. Where do I find the answers?

I have discovered that looking forward must be a daily choice. It must be intentional! If I am to be honest, there are days I live moment by moment hoping I am making the right decisions.  There are many days I often second guess myself.

I often wonder how many people in my life think I have it all together. From a distance it may look that way, but if only those people could live inside my head they would know the battles in my life. If they lived inside my head they would experience the hard fighting battle to be who I am still becoming . Am I perfect? Absolutely not!  Yet if I am not paying attention, the “need” for perfection will once again take over my mind.  The hardest thing for me is how that “need” can cause me to camp in one of two places. Either I am all in or I don’t do anything at all. I recognize the need to be somewhere in the middle and yet the middle doesn’t always come easy for me.

Everyday the cry of my heart is that I would live well, choose wisely and love beyond measure. Everyday it is my hope that I don’t hurt anyone or cause anyone to stumble or fall. I long for my words to always be filled with grace. And I pray my life will always point back to the cross of Jesus Christ for He is the one who changed my life. He is the one who pulled me out of the darkness and continues to teach me what it means to live in His light.

Looking forward is about taking risks. It is about the journey not the destination. It is about placing one foot in front of the other and making choices that will enhance your life. Learning to not take yourself so seriously. Learning to play. It is engaging in real life. It is choosing to look in expectation for the bright side when the circumstances in your life are ever so dark.

Looking forward. It is about choosing to forgive one who has hurt you when your mind is raging to take revenge. It is about accepting one another whether we agree with lifestyle, religion, politics and the list goes on. It is about agreeing to disagree. It is about respect. It is about laying down the stones. It is about giving up our right to be right. It is choosing to admit we are all right. And we are all wrong. It is about choosing to come together and admit we can still learn from each other.

The world as we know it right now causes us to believe this cannot be done. I am here to tell you it can be done!

Looking forward.  Let’s do this together. I’m in! Are you?