As I sat in the darkened auditorium today, credits rolling on the screen, I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or simply shake my head. I ended up going for the 3rd option, with a little of the 1st thrown in.

Such is Dreamgirls, an equally ravishing as it is a ridiculous movie.



Ravishing because it surpasses any movie in recent memory by leagues with it glamour, glitter, gloss, beautiful women (Beyonce Knowles is stunning from every angle) and colorful costumes. And ridiculous because it is the most cobbled-together kaleidoscope of surprisingly great performances (by Jennifer Hudson and Eddie Murphy), a toe-tapping soundtrack - and a story that never manages to fully materialize or convince, with dialogue that decides half-way through the movie that it wants to be sung.

Really - for anybody who has seen this movie, I can't possibly come as a surprise that it didn't get nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture. It's just ... too absurd. Pity really. It had so much potential.

About a third into it - and just as Eddie Murphy was shaking up the house with some funk tune while lewdly girating his hips - I found myself thinking Hey - this is a great movie! I'm really enjoying this. The music felt good, the visuals were dazzling, Eddie and Jennifer were terrific. Roughly 20 minutes later however, someone made the horrible producing/directing decision to have the characters sing their dialogue to eachother. At every opportunity. Together with the other musical numbers, this completely threw the movie out of balance, and once it started going down hill, there was no stopping it.

Its only saving grace was the passionate performance by Jennifer Hudson, whose naturally raw voice carries so much power and weight, you'd never suspect that only a couple of years ago, she was a mere 6th runner-up on 'American Idol'. This movie was a good showcase for her, and I hope to hear and see more of her in the future.

In conclusion however, I cannot recommend the film. The sung dialogue really killed it for me. Every time a character started to speak, I cringed in anticipation of it being sung instead of spoken. And unfortunately, too often, I was disappointed.

Jon's post today at Hackbend.com about possibly creating a Brewpub in the old Movietyme location on Greenwood and 8th has somehow given my gray matter a swift kick in its imaginary arse.

As I commented: *Another* brew pub? Bleh. Come on, Jon. Does Bend really need that?

However - what Bend *does* need is a cool, hip place for young people (20-30-somethings) to hang out. The Martini Bar, Astro and Grove are all too damn loud and overcrowded and pretentious.

I want a place where I can casually taste/swig some fine drink (preferably whiskey) and maybe even wine. :) Ya know - kick back in old overstuffed chairs or hang out on plastic bar stools, maybe with a nice library of comic books and a few sweet pool tables. And the decor has to be slightly off-kilt, but always hip. Maybe something celtic/goth, with a geek twist.

Something quiet, warm, cozy, and utterly comfortable. But also something where the occasional death-metal or jazz band can play, and you can let your hair completely down. No smoking, no kids, no grays, no food.

Pondering this a bit further, it occured to me that I was probably inspired by the most awesome hang-out I've been to in a long time: Spike's Vampire Bar at Burning Man.

One has to note here that it wasn't just glorious because it was located at Burning Man - rather, it was quite simply comfortable (the dome shape helped to keep it cozy), campy (with its cheap plastic chairs), and gothic (the decor included large fabric pieces with celtic knots on the walls, and crude coffins as "coffee tables") Oh, and yes, the stripper pole in the middle of the bar helped too... But - it was the atmosphere in there that really pulled it all together. And it didn't just attract tattooed goth and freaks with fangs (although there were indeed a fair share there) - it was the mixture of people that made the place really cool and hip.

So that's what I really want, really hunger for, here in Bend. A campy, cool, slightly shabby, hip place with games and music and good, cheap booze.

Is that really too much to ask for?

... which is Latin for: Remember that you will die.

I think this is my newest favorite truism. One could argue that it's a tad dark and morbid - but hey. Such is life too, no?


Royal Crypt, Vienna, Austria

In the very least it's an ever-present reminder of our mortality - and that because of that, we should never waste a single breath on something we don't enjoy. Long live Epicurus!

So in that spirit (pun intended), here's a recipe for my new favorite martini (yes - which I'm sipping right now):

2 parts Stoli Blueberry
2 parts Organic Lemonade
2 parts Cranberry Juice

Shake it up with some ice, and if you have sugar and some lime handy, rim the glass and throw in a twist.

Skol!

After seeing a few very promising teaser trailers and reading a four-star review this morning in the paper, I decided to catch a matinee showing of Pan's Labyrinth.

From those snippets, I expected a dark and gothic fantasy fable. What I got instead was an at times gory narration of one facist captain's repressive and brutal rule of a rural military outpost in end-World-War II Spain. All in Spanish, with English subtitles, no less (which neither the review, nor the previews led on to).

The story is told through the eyes of an innocent young girl, Ofelia, who is still enchanted with the world of fairy tales (caution here too: this is not a kids' movie - it included scenes of bloody violence not suitable for children), but after arriving at the outpost with her pregnant mother, quickly has to come to terms with the reality that the monstrous captain is her new stepfather.

So sure - the parts of the movie that deal with the fantasy world Ofelia encounters after following a fairy into Pan's labyrinth are *extremely* cool and well-crafted. There's Pan, the faun, whose tree-like body creaks when he moves. There is a praying mantis that magically transforms into a small dark fairy. There is a really scary baby-eating, eye-less monster that chases after Ofelia. There is a mandrake root that comes to life in a bowl of milk and squeals like a baby. And there's a huge slimy toad who lives in the root system of a tree and eats crawly bugs.



All those bizarre creatures are perfect in their make-up artistry. The special effects are seamless (especially concerning the three buzzing fairies). The audio is a pleasure to listen to due to its exaggerated focus on creaking walls and squeaking leather. And the set design for the labyrinth and the other fantasy world locations is quite simply exquisite. So much, actually, that I wished the whole movie would have taken place there.

But alas (and this is the disappointing part) - while the heart of the movie really lies in that beautifully gothic world, it ends up spending the bulk of its screen time with the cruel captain and his quest to hunt down resistance fighters in the forested hills.

Why that choice was made by director Guillermo Del Toro (who also directed the awesome Hellboy and the even better Cronos) is really beyond me. It almost felt like he didn't have the courage (or the budget) to commit to a full-length dark and twisted version of "Alice in Wonderland" - and at the same time, he also didn't have the heart to make a full-length movie about the Spanish resistance in World War II. Either movie could have been awesome in its own way - yet meshed together, it somehow seemed to lose its magic.

So I ended up walking out of the theater, feeling a bit let down and disappointed. I can recommend it due to its fabulous creatures and sets - but just be aware that if you're really into that sort of stuff and want to see it for that reason, you'll come out feeling short-changed. Maybe better wait for it to come out on DVD, when you'll be able to pause the movie and appreciate the fantasy world in all its splendor...

So today I made good on one of those goals for 2007: I bought a ticket for Burning Man 2007.

The ticketing process for the event is an interesting one. Burning Man LLC opens its virtual ticket window at precisely 10am PST, January 17 (by putting a "Buy Tickets Now" button on a dedicated page), and the tix are sold on a "first come, first serve" basis. Since there are different price levels - from $195, $225, $250 to $280 - and the lowest three levels are limited to only 10,000 tickets per level, everybody of course goes for the cheapest ones first. This results in a real cyber-run in the first 24 hours. Or maybe I should say first minutes.

Because I got into the virtual line at 10.02am, and there were already 3225 people in front of me ... How's that for savage burner dedication?

To make the wait a bit less boring and anxious-ridden, the good people from the In-Ticketing agency devised this nifty little counter though that lets you know every 60 seconds just how many people are still in line in front of you. And in total fascination, I watched the thing count down ... figuring that it processed roughly 100 orders per minute.

So it took me exactly 50 minutes to actually be able to buy my ticket, and another 5 to make the transaction. But I did get in on the $195 level - which now allows me to put the $85 I saved off the regular price towards good organic food to take with me to the Burn, or maybe some cool fabric to fashion a new costume out of, or ... or ... or ...

Ah. Decisions. And only 220 days left to make them ...

Excellent.