Did you know? Faulty technology is good - no, downright healthy - for you.

In its eternal quest to turn humans into real-life replicas of Jabba The Hut by having them sit motionless in front of a sedately-humming computer or TV screen for approximately 23 1/2 hours a day, The Evil Force that is Technology has not considered one small glitch in its seemingly perfect grand scheme: The Bug.

Consider this: Doctors recommend at least a half an hour of elevated heart rate a day to maintain good physical health. And if you've ever experienced The Bug coming in and shutting down your computer (or any other technology-related gadget for that matter), you know what "elevated heart rate" really means.

Yes - that strange, yet sweet feeling of adrenaline shooting through your veins, triggered by emotions of anger, frustration, and an utter sense of powerlessness towards that piece of hum-less metal who so selfishly decided to die on you just when you needed it the most.

You sit dumbfounded for a moment, then get up, walk around and scratch your head. You press a few buttons; wait; pace around some more. Nothing? Of course not. You start to get frustrated. You try something else, tapping wildly into your keyboard. Pace around some more. Nothing.

You can feel your heartbeat quickening; your brain's frontal lobe is white-hot and smoking, working overtime in order to figure out what went wrong. You pump your fists, tap your knuckles nervously on your desktop. You try yet another attempt at fixing the stubborn thing. It defies you again, and you can almost see it grinning.

Now you're stark-raving mad. You sweat profusely, and your heart is racing. You know you're going to have to either shell out some bucks to get your life ... eh, your gadget ... back, or you'll be forced to endure endless hours of telephone tech support, where some half-witted smart-ass asks you questions including, but not limited to, "Is the unit plugged in?"

Individuals with anger-management issues are urged at this point to consider that sharp, blunt, or heavy objects (such as sledgehammers) are never a real solution, and to possibly reflect upon this in their next session with the therapist.

For everybody else - add a few Godzilla-sized bottles of caffeinated soft drink to the mix, and you've almost rivaled the workout of an Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now if only pizza-manufacturers could be convinced to add a dash of ephedrine to that dough recipe ...