May 30, 2002

The world has positively, undoubtedly, and finally gone completely insane.

"Here I come!" yelled the Universe, as it stormed into the admittance room of the Sunny Valley Mental Institution and threw itself into the crisp white straight jacket.

And why, might you ask, is the Universe, as it sighs heavily and slams yet another martini at 9am, in such desperation?

Easy. Because there are an increasing number of idiots in the Bay Area, purchasing homes that are sitting in tiny suburbian lots and needing more than just a little TLC to make them even livable - for prices historically reserved only for lavish Beverly Hills or Malibu beach mansions with olympic-size pools and adjacent custom observatory.

What the hell? (New York Times free registration required, bla, bla, bla ...)